Movie review: ‘Jingle All the Way’

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The two films that I like to run pretty much throughout the Christmas season are “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” (click here to read my review) and “A Christmas Story” (click here to read my review). No, I’m not a fan of “It’s a Wonderful Life” … yes, I know it is the virtual Christmas season classic; I’m just not a big fan of those legendary black-and-white Christmas specials. Now, “Jingle all the Way” isn’t in any way of that class, but it isn’t bad and in some respects is pretty good. You’ll find “Jingle all the Way” to be a nice addition to break up the marathon of “A Christmas Story” and “Christmas Vacation” showings leading up to Christmas Day.

‘Jingle All the Way’
(1996; 89 minutes; rated PG; directed by Brian Levant and starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sinbad and Phil Hartman)

ADD ‘JINGLE’ TO YOUR HOLIDAY MOVIE LINEUP

(NOTE: I reorganized this review by adding opinion, updating links and adding some more trivia on Dec. 16, 2017. I again expanded the review on Dec. 19, 2020. I again expanded the review on Dec. 23, 2024.)

Let’s get the bad stuff out of the way first for “Jingle all the Way.” It’s not a good film and some of the acting is as wooden as trees in a forest – well, more than some. You’ll also find that the direction is uneven and the that the director was nominated for a Razzie for worst film for it. Still, “Jingle all the Way” is totally watchable and and very entertaining at times and should, without a doubt, find a place in your holiday rotation.

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The great Chris Columbus, who directed “Mrs. Doubtfire” and the first two “Home Alone(s)” (click here for my review) and its first sequel, is the co-producer for this one, yet you’ll be hard-pressed to find any evidence of his talented hand here.

In the pantheon of so-considered Christmas films, “Jingle all the Way” comes in behind the biggies (“Christmas Vacation,” “A Christmas Story,” “Miracle on 34th Street,” and “It’s a Wonderful Life”) and doesn’t quite reach the almost-biggies (“Elf,” “How the Grinch Stole Christmas,” “Home Alone” – click here to read my review – and “The Santa Clause”). Still, it’s better than “Christmas with the Kranks” and head and shoulders above flotsam like Billy Bob Thornton in the execrable “Bad(der) Santa.” Some consider “Die Hard” (click here for my review) a Christmas film, and for a long time I did not. However, I’ve changed my mind and put “Die Hard” into the Christmas rotation.

In any case, back to “Jingle all the Way.” It is the story of a business-focused father played by Arnold Schwarzenegger, who forgets to buy a special toy for his son for Christmas. No problem, right? Just go get it! However, this thing is the hottest ever in toy sales and he’ll have more chance of finding the lost city of Atlantis than he will this toy.

When he finally realizes he must do the impossible and find one (think Cabbage Patch Kid meets a Tickle Me Elmo … on steroids – no pun intended), Schwarzenegger does the usual holiday stuff such as the big line at the toy store before the unusual stuff: buying a bootleg toy from a crooked Santa and finally winding up as the toy’s character himself in the penultimate Christmas Eve parade.

Here’s a look at the cast and how they handle the holiday challenges:

  • A Golden Globe winner and nominee (not for this one), Schwarzenegger plays “Howard Langston” and he will give the Labors of Hercules a run for its money in completing the labors necessary to secure the toy – a play-action figure called “Turbo Man.” Schwarzenegger employs his usual wooden acting method, but, like in other films, you’ll forgive his lack of talent. Overall, Arnie does a credible job and that’s a passing grade for this one. I like a bunch of Arnie’s films, but especially “True Lies” (click here to read my review) as well as “Predator” (click here to read my review), “Commando” (click here to read my review) and the little-remembered “The Running Man” (click here to read my review). He won for “Stay Hungry” in 1977 and was nominated for “Junior.”
  • Along the way Arnie picks up an archenemy: “Myron Larabee” played by Sinbad. Sinbad does just the right amount of outrage, sarcasm and snarkiness to pull a good review out of this one and does the most possible as an angry mailman. He was in the football comedy “Necessary Roughness” (click here to read my review), “First Kid” (click here to read my review) and “Good Burger” and he is best known for his stand-up comedy.
  • A subplot throughout “Jingle all the Way” is held together by veteran actor Golden Globe nominee (not for this one) Robert Conrad, who was “Jim West” on TV’s “The Wild Wild West.” He plays a cop whose enforcement of traffic laws keeps Schwarzenegger from his son’s judo presentation (don’t put all the blame on Conrad, Arnie the bad father was running late anyway) and later turns up when Sinbad’s bomb threat interrupts a radio station giveaway. Conrad is his usual likable self and knocks this role off with a bit of style. It was great to see him in this one. I also liked Conrad in “Murph the Surf” (click here to read my review), but he was also good playing another cop in the simply horrific “Moving Violations” (click here to read my review). He was nominated for TV’s “Baa Baa Black Sheep,” a series set in the Pacific during World War II and was renamed in syndication “Black Sheep Squadron.” Conrad died at 84 in 2020 of heart failure.
  • The funniest scene in “Jingle all the Way” is when Schwarzenegger is offered a bootleg “Turbo Man” by a crooked mall Santa played by Primetime Emmy nominee (not for this one) Jim Belushi. Along with his crooked elf sidekick, Belushi, whose roles outside TV’s “According to Jim” include “Red Heat” (also with Schwarzenegger), “The Principal” and “K-9,” takes Arnie back to a warehouse filled with crooked Santas and a free-for-all breaks out. It’s a very funny fight and contributes the best physical comedy of the film (even better than the end). Belushi, who is James in the credits for “Jingle all the Way,” was nominated for his work with “Saturday Night Live.”
  • On the home front, Schwarzenegger’s wife, “Liz Langston” is played by Rita Wilson, who is best known as Mrs. Tom Hanks. Wilson is feeling a little left out by a husband focused on business and becomes Hartman’s most recent target. Wilson gives a somewhat less than lukewarm performance and doesn’t elevate the role or the film at all. She was better in a much smaller role in “That Thing You Do!” (click here to read my review) and was also in “Sleepless in Seattle.”
  • Jake Lloyd, who plays “Jamie Langston,” is better known as “Anakin Skywalker” in “Star Wars: Episode 1 — The Phantom Menace.” The boy, who was 6 during filming, does a pretty solid job as kid actors go, but he doesn’t compare to Peter Billingsley in “A Christmas Story” (although Billingsley was 11 when he played “Ralphie”). Lloyd didn’t have a long career in Hollywood, as he notched only 15 credits through 2002. Seven of his last nine credits are for voicing on video games and hasn’t worked since.
  • Next door to the Schwarzenegger home front is Primetime Emmy winner and nominee (not for this one) Phil Hartman, playing divorced “Ted Maltin,” wants to take advantage of Arnie’s martial trouble for some action for himself. Hartman, a veteran of “Saturday Night Live” and “NewsRadio,” does an excellent turn as the smarmy vulture on others’ relationships. He conveys the sleazy character almost to perfection. He was nominated and won for “Saturday Night Live” and was nominated for “NewsRadio.” Tragically, Hartman was shot and killed in his sleep at age 49 in 1998 in a domestic violence incident at his home in California.
  • The funniest bit part is by Curtis Armstrong, who plays a smoking “Booster” character (one of the people in the “Turbo Man” world). He delivers on target a profane, devastatingly funny line as Schwarzenegger is mistaken for an actor late to play “Turbo Man.” Armstrong, whose career kicked off in “Risky Business” and next and best-remembered as “Dudley ‘Booger’ Dawson” in “Revenge of the Nerds” (click here to read my review) and its three sequels.

The rest of the supporting cast doesn’t distinguish itself with the exception of Martin Mull as a radio DJ who gets caught in the Arnie-Sinbad war. Sorry we couldn’t have seen more of you, Martin. Mull died at 80 in 2024.

Everything wraps up nicely at the end (of course, it’s a Christmas movie) and you can now move on to another Christmas flick.

“Jingle all the Way” did OK at the box office in 1996, with $60.59 million in the domestic market (right behind “Beavis and Butt-Head Do America”) and was the 22nd ranked film, according to Box Office Mojo. Worldwide, “Jingle all the Way” made $125 million on a budget of $75 million. The No. 1 film that year was Will Smith’s “Independence Day” with $306.1 million for the domestic market. Here are the other films from 1996 that I’ve reviewed:

Assorted cast and film notes (via IMDb.com):

  • Sinbad’s birth name is David Adkins; Wilson’s birth name is Margarita Ibrahimoff; and Conrad’s birth name was Conrad Robert Norton Falk.
  • Columbus wanted Joe Pesci to play the role given to Sinbad, but Pesci is one of Hollywood’s many micro-men (he’s only 5-foot-4) and so he wasn’t cast. By the way, Sinbad is a strapping 6-foot-5, which is three inches taller than Arnie.
  • The supporting cast has some casting surprises: Richard Moll, the hulking 6-foot-8 bailiff in TV’s “Night Court,” plays a minor character in the parade, while original “Saturday Night Live” cast member Laraine Newman has a tiny role as the “First Lady” that’s really a step down for an actor of her talent and “SNL” pedigree. Likewise, Harvey Korman played the president in a mighty small role for the man who was so good in “Blazing Saddles” (click here to read my review). Moll died at 79 in 2023; and Korman died at 80 in 2008 of complications from a abdominal aortic aneurysm.
  • Tim Allen was considered for the Arnie character, but, while a better actor by far, I don’t believe he would have done as effective a job as Schwarzenegger did in “Jingle all the Way.” Besides, Tim has his own Christmas semi-classic: “The Santa Clause” (and ignore the dreck that are called “sequels”).
  • Directly from com: “Arnold Schwarzenegger‘s agent suggested Sinbad, but the producers felt he was unsuited to the role of a villain as it could harm his clean, family-oriented comedy act and reputation, although Sinbad felt the character would generate the audience’s sympathy rather than hate. Furthermore, he missed the audition due to his appearance with Hillary Clinton and Sheryl Crow on the USO tour of Bosnia and Herzegovina, but Chris Columbus waited for him to return to allow him to audition and, although Sinbad felt he had “messed” it up, he was given the part.”
  • Arnie was reportedly paid $20 million for appearing in “Jingle all the Way.”
  • “Jingle all the Way” is one of three films in which both Sinbad and Hartman are featured. The others are “Houseguest” and “Coneheads.”
  • Finally and directly from IMDb.com: “In March 2001, a U.S. District Court jury in Birmingham, Michigan, ruled that 20th Century Fox stole the script idea, ‘Jingle All the Way,’ from Detroit High School biology teacher, Brian Webster. The studio was ordered to pay $19 million, later reduced to $1.5 million. Webster submitted the script, then named ‘Could This Be Christmas?’ to the studio in 1994 and never received payment or credit despite the film making $183 million. Fox appealed and the verdict was reversed, since Webster’s script was submitted after the studio had already purchased a treatment (summary/outline) of what would become the film’s script.”

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