The updating of TV shows and films is always tricky. From the decent (“The Dukes of Hazzard” movie – click here for my review) to the simply pitiful (“CHIPS” movie – click here for my review), it’s never easy to update something that’s iconic. For the most part today, Hollywood has given up even pretending it offers any creativity and just dips back into the past to find a franchise that promises to make a profit on screen. “Baywatch” on TV wasn’t good, but, like other cult favs, it was watchable and fun (after being canceled over ratings its first season). “Baywatch” the movie isn’t good, but like its TV counterpart, it’s very watchable, a whole lot of fun and “The Rock” will entertain you!
‘Baywatch’
(2017; 116 minutes; rated R; directed by Seth Gordon and starring Dwayne Johnson, Zac Efron and Kelly Rohrbach)
BAD FLICK, BUT ‘BAYWATCH’ & ‘THE ROCK’ GROW ON YOU
(NOTE: I updated this review with links and opinion about the headliner on May 18, 2018.)
I didn’t want to like “Baywatch” the movie remake of the iconic TV series, and 10 minutes into it I was sure the word “crap” would figure prominently in this review. After all, I just suffered through the indignity called “CHIPS.” However, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and a decent execution of raunch comedy, with a lot of kitsch thrown in, turned me around. So don’t despair at first, give it a shot.
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In case you didn’t watch the TV show (and I didn’t; I never saw one complete episode), “Baywatch” is the story with lifeguards as the heroes. Of course, the movie has to change the TV show, so the film is set in Florida and not in California, where the original was set. The lifeguards, led by Johnson as “Lt. Mitch Buchannon,” show off their bodies (all but one wonderful to outstanding) and ultimately solve a couple of murders and take down a drug racket. Whew! And you thought saving people from drowning is a lifeguard’s job – and that conflict is actually a key plot component.
The wild card – and remember, you need one here – is Zac Efron, an Olympian with a checkered past, who, through a plea deal, is allowed to do community service with Baywatch. He’s a loner and self-centered and the perfect target for Johnson’s one-liners. Efron’s infamous in the Olympics for puking in the pool during a relay – and CGI makes a wonderful cloud.
So, I will say, don’t laugh at the premises or plot tools because they’re pretty much standard schlocky fare, but it is actually well-executed here – except the opening credits, which look like they were designed by the lowest rung of the graphics ladder. Best yet is that Johnson and Zac Efron, who plays “Mitch Brody,” as headliners get really solid support from a group of below A-list actors, who do notable work and don’t make you cringe when they deliver the stale, smarmy or objectionable lines. In fact, you just laugh a lot.
Since I never watched the original TV series, I can’t compare how the lifeguard crew is portrayed. In the film, they do rescue people in trouble in the water, but more time is spent on them seeing drugs on the beach and then doing the drugs-on-the-beach investigation after a local politician is found dead after a boat fire. Throughout the film, it is Johnson’s continual stream of snarky comments that’s a lot of fun. Normally, I’d roll my eyes at the obvious one-liners, but he does a great job and you want to keep watching. You can even look past the sad penis joke scenes (yes, unfortunately I must tell you that there is more than one; oh, lord, there is more than one), much less penis comments.
Naturally, everything winds up just fine in the end for our heroes and you even get an appearance from that most “Baywatch” of “Baywatch” babes – Pamela Anderson (you also get one from David Hasselhoff, who almost single-handedly saved the original TV show after it was canceled, and you get a good look at him in the credits).
So, let’s take a look at some of the principal cast:
- As I noted, Johnson is in front of the camera pretty much the entire film. And, he gets a passing grade – much better than passing, actually. The thing I like best is how smooth he is and that you are pretty much instantly convinced he is king of the lifeguards. I don’t know how much drama he can emote, but he has this action-comedy thing down pat. I was also impressed with Johnson’s work in the terrific sequel “Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle” (click here for my review) and haven’t seen Johnson in … well, anything else but “Baywatch.” He’s done everything – from sci-fi on TV to playing himself (in “Baywatch” I’d have to add the worth “with” to be funny) in several TV episodes and the former pro-wrestler has moved on to the action film genre with “San Andreas” and “I. Joe: Retaliation” while also voicing in Disney’s “Moana”
Efron continues to shine here in super-raunchy comedy as the “Vomit Comet.” His turn is predictable as the team’s newbie loose cannon and you could say stereotypical, but he does it better than average and that always counts for something. Like others here, you can’t say he does any great acting, but you have almost no choice in liking to watch him. Zac is slowly building my confidence in watching one of his films. He knows how to project on screen and doesn’t make you turn away. I liked him first in the remake of the “Hairspray” movie as “Link Larkin” and then really enjoyed his turn in “Dirty Grandpa” with Robert De Niro (click here for my review). Efron got his start on TV with an episode of “Firefly” in 2002 at the age of 15 and he’s also been in “17 Again” and “High School Musical.”- The lone actor working in “Baywatch” without any discernable talent is Priyanka Chopra as “Victoria Leeds.” She is the master villain, but her effort is so deficient that is truly and simply sad that she gets on screen at all. In each, she’s excruciatingly bad and it appears that she’s auditioning for dinner theater and failing. I guess Chopra is related to the producer or married to the studio head, because you know she couldn’t have passed any real audition. I cringed every time I saw her and there can be no other explanation why she’s in a big-budget film than she’s related to someone. Chopra never manages to move the film forward in any way and she has absolutely no ability to elevate “Victoria Leeds.” At my most kind, I’d say her effort at its peak only reaches “inadequate.” Chopra has also been in … ah, you haven’t seen any of it and, besides, who cares? I don’t.
- The actor with the most potential (but her character doesn’t allow for development) is Alexandra Daddario as “Summer Quinn.” She never overplays a scene and meshes well with any of the other cast in any kind of situation. Although her character has the perfect amount of screen time, you come away believing that you’d probably have liked to see more of her. I know that the film would have been better with more of her. Daddario has been in “San Andreas” with The Rock and was in “Hall Pass” as well as a bunch of TV roles.
- Of course, “Baywatch” needs “C.J.” and Kelly Rohrbach slo-mo runs her way into the character made famous by Pamela Anderson. Rohrbach has a Britney Spears appearance, but, unlike the singer, manages to actually not embarrass herself whenever she’s called on to speak and does a workmanlike job of it. I’m not damning with faint praise and I hope her career doesn’t fall along the track like that of Brooklyn Decker in “Just Go With It” (click here for my review) and just roll out for slo-mo runs. Rohrbach has an earnestness that is difficult to emote on film and does an acceptable job of it here. She, too, was in “San Andreas” with Dwayne and I’ll forgive her for being in a post-Charlie Sheen episode of “Two and a Half Men.” Rohrbach was in “Café Society” and at this writing has 15 acting credits with an untitled project being filmed.
- Ilfenesh Hadera is the ostensible female lead (after Rohrbach’s obvious screen time) as “Stephanie Holden,” who is second-in-command. Hadera isn’t given much, if anything, to work with here, so it’s near impossible to judge her acting ability. The character is not developed and so we don’t get to see if Hadera would have been up to the task of elevating it. Like Rohrbach, Hadera has a brief resume of 15 credits and has been in “Old Boy.”
- At first you believe that Yahya Abdul-Mateen II as “Sgt. Garner Ellerbee” is mocking the acting profession with how he works his character – a by-the-book cop. At first, it’s as if he’s in a spoof sequel. However, his interpretation and work here grows on you (at least it did on me) and he doesn’t grade out as bad as the worthless Chopra. He, too, has a slim CV of only eight credits – with four being in production at the writing of this review.
- Finally, I come to Jon Bass as “Ronnie Greenbaum.” He joins Daddario as a rookie with the team. Unlike Daddario, his character is stumbling, bumbling and he handles it all well … with the exception of the opening penis-joke scene. That one nearly puts you off the entire film, but Bass ultimately pulls it off (again, no pun intended) and consistently delivers watchable scenes. A fun one is when he’s showering and Rohrbach walks in (it’s a co-ed shower and the lifeguards keep their swimsuits on). Not Oscar material work, but Bass could have made it unwatchable, but didn’t. Oh, yes, Bass is the lone lifeguard without a body to die for … unless the word “doughboy” describes your physical dream. Bass looks to be an up-and-comer with TV (“American Horror Story” or “Big Time in Hollywood, FL”) as well as films including “Loving” and “All Nighter” on his short resume.
So there you have it. A few more characters exist, but all become flotsam and jetsam in The Rock’s wake. So, when all is said and done, “Baywatch” is nothing but fun. There’s no substance; no real message beyond the good guys win; and there’s certainly no acting awards coming from this one.
Seth Gordon is a very solid director in comedy as he did “Horrible Bosses” (click here for my review) in film as well as “Parks and Recreation” for TV. I’ll make sure I see his next effort, although IMDb.com lists two projects in various stages, one on TV and an untitled project with Fox.
The movie fun to the extent that it even overcomes excruciating penis jokes and penis-joke scenes. The extended PJ-scene at the morgue – no pun intended, it’s the length of the scene, not the tallywhacker itself – doesn’t cause you to hate “Baywatch,” but it’s rough to watch. I’m sure the same can be said – sans penis jokes – about the television show. Although both are not critical successes, it’s all about being fun and watchable. “Baywatch” the movie is both.
“Baywatch” was the 31st ranked film with $58 million in ticket sales for 2017 at the writing of this review, according to Box Office Mojo. It was made on a budget of $69 million and since returned $177.9 million worldwide, according to Wiki. Of course, the No. 1 film of 2017 was “Star Wars: Episode VIII – The Last Jedi” with $620.1 million – and I’m surprised at such a paltry total since I had expected it to top a billion dollars! (UPDATE: Fell a little by the end of the year and wound up 48th with that $58 million.) The other films released in 2017 that I’ve reviewed are:
- “CHIPS” (horrible crap) – click here for my review
- “Going in Style” (disappointing reboot) – click here for my review
- “Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle” (great one) – click here for my review
Assorted cast and film notes (via IMDb.com):
- Johnson delivers a string of name put-downs on Efron. Zac is reportedly the one who fed the names to The Rock.
- Directly from IMDb.com: “After scathing reviews poured in from critics and fans alike, Dwayne Johnson tweeted that the film wasn’t made for critics.”
- Chopra claimed the villain role was originally written for a man but was changed after Gordon met her. I doubt it. I’m not sure what pull she has over the director, but no one would change anything in a film to get her in … at least that’s what I see.
- Finally and directly from IMDb.com: “Dwayne Johnson is the tenth professional wrestler to work on Baywatch, and the first wrestler turned actor who didn’t appear on the show. Jorge Gonzáles, Jimmy Hart, Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, Ric Flair, Leon White, Kevin Sullivan, Shawn Michaels, and Torrie Wilson appeared as guest stars on Baywatch (1989).”
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