We’re on track for Christmas 2025 and I’m continuing the fractured phrase: Hooray for Hollyweird! Most of us love movies and I enjoy recommending what you should watch on any given day. So, Hooray for Hollyweird … and for today’s recommendation, let’s hold our nose and keep our lunch down (or breakfast or dinner) with “The Adventures of Ford Fairlane” with Andrew “Dice” Clay.
You can easily find bad movies; you can find worse movies; but you’ll find that “The Adventures of Ford Fairlane” falls in the category of a gross embarrassment. It is truly a film that reeks and two of the actors should have surrendered their Screen Actors Guild cards for the despicable effort given in it.
Clay plays the title character in “The Adventures of Ford Fairlane” and he’s the “rock ‘n’ roll detective.” Yeah, that works out for everyone. The supporting cast, while mostly talented, pinches out a nasty one without even trying. Heck, even the actor who made “Freddy Krueger” famous gets his reputation sullied from this miserable dreck.
I’d out
line the plot, but it’s so awful and contrived that I’ll let you experience it for yourself. Let’s just say that the “Diceman” runs around and does a bunch of one-liners from his early work while offering the chance for the supporting cast mostly make a fool of themselves. They include Wayne Newton, Ed O’Neill, Gilbert Gotfried, Priscilla Presley, David Patrick Kelly (as “Sam the Sleaze Bag”) and Robert Englund (you know him best as “Freddy Krueger”). O’Neill and the late Gotfried should have surrendered their SAG cards after this stinker.
The only two actors in “The Adventures of Ford Fairlane” who get a little appreciation are Lauren Holly, who plays Clay’s assistant “Jazz;” and Brandon Call as “the Kid,” who sometimes hangs out with and emulates Clay (Why? I have no clue). The single funny line in the film comes when Clay is on the phone with Holly and she’s screaming at him and all you hear is the “wah-wah-wah” from the receiver and he says, “… you sound like Charlie Brown’s teacher!”
Sigh.
If you are looking for a little stomach-churning cinema, look for “The Adventures of Ford Fairlane” in this streaming age. If you do, you’ll definitely say … “Hooray for Hollyweird!” but not mean it.
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