Movie review: ‘Up the Creek’

FloridaGator80
A promotional still photograph from the movie “Up the Creek.”

The comedy classics “National Lampoon’s Animal House” in 1978, “The Hollywood Knights” (click here to read my review) in 1980 and “Porky’s” (click here to read my review) in 1982 actually did have a downside: Each spawned imitation films not worth watching. Well, at least they were “imitation” films and not the usually deficient “reboot” movies you’ve seen out of Hollywood in an ongoing drought of lack of creativity and the lure of dollars being made off the title of a previously successful film or TV show (just take all of the “American Pie” franchise after the second sequel). Now, I’ll struggle through “Up the Creek” that has stars from the three previously mentioned comedies and absolutely nothing else going for it.

‘Up the Creek’
(1984; 96 minutes; rated R; directed by Robert Butler and starring Tim Matheson, Stephen Furst and Dan Monahan)

AN PRIME EXAMPLE OF A PATHETIC MOVIE

(NOTE: I updated this review with additional opinion and trivia and the updating of links on June 5, 2016. I again expanded the review on March 29, 2020. I again expanded it on March 19, 2026.)

I guess there’s always hope when a comedy film has stars from classics in the genre. Still, I cannot believe that even from the first day of shooting that the filmmakers responsible for “Up the Creek” could believe the movie would be anything but an upcoming sweep of the “Razzie” awards for worst in film. However, they were up against “Bolero” that year and that’s a pretty bad film, too.

“Up the Creek” had potential with what could be a good cast featuring Tim Matheson and Stephen Furst from “Animal House,” Dan Monahan from “Porky’s,” Sandy Helberg from “The Hollywood Knights” (and he’s the father of Simon Helberg of the TV mega comedy “The Big Bang Theory”), Julia Montgomery (“Revenge of the Nerds” – click here to read my review) and even John Hillerman of “Blazing Saddles” (click here to read my review).

So, how could it be so bad?

A promotional still photograph from the movie “Up the Creek.”

Well, just watch the first 10 minutes and you’ll see: a lame script that forces everything from laughs to the simple concept of the grunginess of the gang’s university, poor cinematography and stereotypes (oh, goodness the stereotypes – everything from the rich vs. the hoi polloi to gratuitous topless shots). Everything reeks of trying too hard and whatever good comedy might have been even slightly possible is wasted.

A promotional still photograph from the movie “Up the Creek.”

The plot is that the country’s worst university (“Lepetomane” … the same name of Mel Brooks’ governor in “Blazing Saddles”) wants a trophy, any trophy and the college’s dean (Hillerman) will even take a river rafting competition trophy. He selects the four worst students (our main characters) and sends them off to the race with the promise of degrees in any subject they choose if they win. You really don’t need to know much else, so I’ll speed through the film with a critique of the actors …

  • A two-time Primetime Emmy nominee, Matheson, who plays “Bob McGraw” and was “Eric ‘Otter’ Stratton” in “Animal House,” gives it his usual post-“Animal House” effort as he’s the cool one (stereotype) and must elevate everyone else’s game so they can get degrees. He gets beaten up by the snobs (stereotype, remember “Animal House”); he gets the hot girl (ditto “Animal House”); and he comes out on top (ditto ditto). Matheson has also been in Clint Eastwood’s “Magnum Force” (click here for my review) as a killer cop and in the TV series “Hart of Dixie” and “Burn Notice.” Matheson was nominated for the TV series “The West Wing.”
  • The other “Animal House” alumnus here is Furst, who plays “Gonzer” and was “Kent ‘Flounder’ Dorfman” in “Animal House.” He dials in this effort as the group’s slob and has trouble just playing a generally hapless stooge. He even looks contrived as he makes a pig of himself wolfing down food. Not his best effort since after “Animal House” he showed he actually has ability as displayed in the little-remembered but quite excellent “The Dream Team.” Sadly, Furst died at 63 in 2017 of diabetes-related illnesses.
  • Next up is Monahan, who was “Edward ‘Pee-Wee’ Morris” in “Porky’s” and plays “Max” here. Monahan has that youthful energy so necessary to such roles. Outside of Helberg in the main cast, he does the best job. In addition to the “Porky’s” franchise, Monahan was in the little-remembered vampire flick “The Night Flier” (click here to read my review) and left show business after his last credit in 2000 and notched only 16 acting credits.
  • The final main character is Helberg, who was “Officer Clark” in “The Hollywood Knights” and plays “Irwin” here. Helberg plays the straight man as well here as he did in “The Hollywood Knights” and gets the best (but low) marks for his efforts with “Up the Creek.” Helberg has also been in “Spaceballs” and “This is Spinal Tap” and he’s been away from Hollywood since he hasn’t had any acting credits since 2012. He had the misfortune to be himself in the documentary short “Without a Paddle: Revisiting ‘Up the Creek’” in 2016. I can’t believe he would ever admit having been in this stinker from the moment it made its premiere.
  • A promotional still photograph from the movie “Up the Creek.”

    A Golden Globe winner and four-time nominee (absolutely not for this one), Hillerman, whose best known role was “Jonathan Quayle Higgins III” on TV’s classic “Magnum P.I.,” does his usual efficient job as “Dean Burch” and, to most likely his relief, didn’t get too much time on screen. Hillerman won and earned his nominations for “Magnum P.I.” His final film was a small part as a “Higgins”-esque character – on Hawaii, naturally – in 1996’s “A Very Brady Sequel” (click here for my review). Hillerman died at 84 in 2017 of heart disease.

  • A promotional still photograph from the movie “Up the Creek.”

    Another television mainstay, Primetime Emmy nominee James Sikking as “Tozer” and who is best known as “Lt. Howard Hunter” on “Hill Street Blues,” is the stuck-up snob who’s helping the rich boys to victory. He, too, comes off stiff and contrived. Sikking was not using his middle initial of “R” in credits at the time of the film and I’m sure he’s another actor who wish he could forget this stinker. Sikking was nominated for “Hill Street Blues.” He died at 79 of complications from dementia at 79.

  • Another veteran actor who most likely wishes he wasn’t here is Robert Costanzo, who plays “Campus Guard Charlie.” Ouch. Nasty role. Costanzo exits quickly and has been in “Total Recall,” “Saturday Night Fever” and “Die Hard 2.”

Oddly enough, “Up the Creek” managed to be the 71st ranked film at the box office in 1984 with $11.7 million coming in off a budget reported at $7 million, according to Box Office Mojo. It was far behind fellow comedy “Revenge of the Nerds” at $40.8 million (16th place) and the No. 1 film of the year: “Beverly Hills Cop” with $234.7 million. Here are films from that year I have reviewed:

Other cast and film notes (via IMDb.com):

  • Furst’s birth name was Stephen Fuerstein; Monahan’s nickname to friends is “Joe Golf;” Sikking’s middle initial of “B” stood for Barrie; and Hillerman’s full birth name was Jack Ben Hillerman.
  • Montgomery (she was Julie in the film’s credits) plays “Lisa” and she was in “Revenge of the Nerds,” which was released three months after “Up the Creek” had its premiere).
  • Blaine Novak plays military wacko “Capt. Braverman” and I’m sure his career of only four acting roles didn’t end because of “Up the Creek.” However, you never know (actually, he moved on to the business side of the industry).
  • Helberg, while not of basketball height at 5-foot-10, is taller than his son Simon who is 5-foot-4. Simon was shortest of the male characters on the megahit tee-vee series “The Big Bang Theory,” which had two key actors of individual heights so tiny that it is one of the cornerstone jokes of the show (Kunal Nyaar as “Raj” is 5-foot-7 and Jim Parsons as “Sheldon” towers over them all at 6-foot-1¼, while Johnny Galecki as “Leonard” is the second shortest at 5-foot-5, which is an inch shorter than Kaley Cuoco). Click here for my review of when that TV series jumped “the shark” …
  • Since I’m writing about height (and “Up the Creek” isn’t so interesting), I’ll note that not all actors’ progeny have more physical stature than their parent. For example, legendary tough guy James Caan is a modest 5-foot-9 while his son, TV’s “Hawaii Five-O” tough guy Scott Caan, is another micro man at 5-foot-5 (just like Galecki).
  • The movie’s college is titled “Lepetomane” and “Le Pétomane” was the stage name of Joseph Pujol, a Frenchman noted for being a professional farter (a flatulist). Click here to read about him …
  • The only member of the primary cast to do an episode of TV’s “The Love Boat” is Hillerman. Just as interesting is that Helberg was “Gopher” in the TV movie “The Love Boat” that preceded the TV show and it had Ted Hamilton as the captain and Dick Van Patten as the ship’s doctor. I always enjoy trivia about “The Love Boat” (but not “Love Boat: The Next Wave” – I don’t post its link). Click here to read my review of “The Love Boat.”

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