Movie review: ‘Porky’s’

FloridaGator80
A promotional photograph from the movie “Porky’s.”

It’s simple: either you love the movie “Porky’s” or you hate it. Either way, the motivation finds it source because of the childish, rude comedy. In the end, there’s just no in-between when folks judge it. Even on the TV sitcom “Two and a Half Man” they spoofed it by telling one character that life “isn’t a ‘Porky’s’ movie.” “Porky’s” was the first big-hit, profane youth-oriented comedy that set the box office on fire in the 1980s. Some of its scenes remain classic today (try the girls shower room debacle for “Tommy”) and one of the supporting cast would make “Miss Honeywell” a well-known sexual figure before she co-starred in “Sex and the City.” “Porky’s” takes the genre past where “National Lampoon’s Animal House” went with the sorority house scene but comes up a quite a bit short when evaluated against THAT classic. “Porky’s” isn’t going to age since it’s a 1950s period piece done well. Your only worry is about splitting your sides once too often as you watch it.

‘Porky’s’
(1982; 94 minutes; rated R; directed by Bob Clark and starring Dan Monahan, Mark Herrier and Wyatt Knight)

THE BOYS FROM ANGEL BEACH ARE HERE!

(NOTE: I expanded this review with additional opinion and updating of links on July 17, 2016. I again expanded the review on Dec. 25, 2018. I again expanded it on Jan. 12, 2021. I again expanded it on July 12, 2026.)

Well, you’ve just finished your annual saturation of “A Christmas Story” (click here for my review) in its endless series of repeats throughout the holiday season. But, while it is worthy of the title “classic,” you may not remember that director Bob Clark did another film (and that film’s first sequel), which is as far away from “A Christmas Story” as you can get. As a matter of fact, it was the success of this raunchy teen movie that allowed him to bring “Ralphie” and his family to the big screen. Of course, I’m writing about “Porky’s” today.

“Porky’s” has it all when it comes to jokes … and most involve sex. Critics called it a misogynistic and rated somewhere between awful and trash. Well, the laugh was on them because “Porky’s” was the fifth most-popular movie at the box office in 1982 and became an instant classic (you’d call it a cult favorite, except that is has been so popular). It far outdistanced the equally remembered teen movie “Fast Times at Ridgemont High” with audiences that year – didn’t remember they came out the same year, did you? And I’m sure you didn’t think “Porky’s” would outdo “Fast Times” at the box office.

A promotional photograph from the movie “Porky’s.”

While “Fast Times” is sensational and iconic, “Porky’s” is a raunch classic.

Kim Cattrall, who would go on to blaze an erotic trail in films and television, most notably on “Sex and City” for TV and the movies, wasn’t in her first movie with “Porky’s” – but she did her first nude scene in “Porky’s.” After that small piece of trivia about the stars, there isn’t much other such trivia to report. The film doesn’t have any other A-list stars or future A-list stars and its ensemble cast shows strength without a dominant personality – they’re all over-the-top in one way or another and go from competent to great in their roles.

A promotional photograph from the movie “Porky’s.”

“Porky’s” focuses on a group of friends at the fictional “Angel Beach High School” (think Fort Lauderdale) on Atlantic coastal Florida. The boys totally live for two things: fun and girls – and not necessarily in that order.

So, the guys chase after the girls at school and even catch more than a glimpse of them in the shower in one of the all-time classic teen-movie scenes (it even nearly eclipses Phoebe Cates’ pool scene in “Fast Times” for laughs, but, then again, no one laughed at Phoebe).

After spending just as much time playing jokes on each other, they all wind up in Florida’s swampland at a place called “Porky’s” that is reputed to have women who are available (if you know what I mean).

Well and naturally, the guys run afoul of the aptly named “Porky” and get scammed out of money as well as embarrassed and humiliated by the crackers. The rest of the film is of one of the friends trying to get even and then finally all of them managing to extract the ultimate revenge on “Porky.” All the good guys win in the end and so do you, since you’ve seen one of the funniest films of the past generation and a half.

Now, let’s take a look at some of the ostensible “leads,” who would have their relationship flesh out (no pun intended) in the sequel …

  • A promotional photograph from the movie “Porky’s.”

    Dan Monahan is “Edward ‘Pee Wee’ Morris.” He’s the focus of just about everything going on and is so sexually eager it’s almost difficult to comprehend. He does a great job in a role that just had to be fun. He’s energetic, frenetic and obviously does the breathless enthusiasm of an over-sexed teen to perfection. Monahan was also in the sequels as well as a little-remembered but creative and scary vampire movie called “The Night Flier” taken from a Stephen King story (click here to read my review). Sadly, he accepted a paycheck for the utterly execrable “Up the Creek” (click here to read my review).

  • A promotional photograph from the movie “Porky’s.”

    Kaki Hunter plays the female lead here as “Wendy Williams.” She’s the school slu … sorry, girl who has a reputation. Hunter would leave Hollywood and ultimately land as among other things a white-water rafting instructor in Utah. She does a really great job as the misunderstood girl who is just as raunchy and fun as any of the guys. She knocks out her lines with aplomb and gives and good as she gets (again, no pun intended). Hunter was in the “Porky’s” sequels as well as in “Roadie” with Meat Loaf. She actually has some solid work in the sequel, but doesn’t have all that much to work with here.

The other two other great female characters are diametric opposites:

  • A promotional photograph from the movie “Porky’s.”

    A Golden Globe winner and three-time nominee (not for this one), Cattrall as “Miss Lynn ‘Lassie’ Honeywell” is every bit looking for love as any of her students, but only turns into “Lassie” in the upstairs gym room (another of the unforgettable scenes … make sure you use the facilities before seeing this part of the film). She has also been in “Live Nude Girls” as well as her signature role as “Samantha Jones” in “Sex in the City.” She got her win and nominations for the TV version of “Sex in the City.”

  • A promotional photograph from the movie “Porky’s.”

    Nancy Parsons plays brutish PE teacher “Beulah Balbricker” (get it?) and she’s got it in for the guys, especially “Tommy” – who she manages to grab in the girls shower (don’t ask; watch the film). She is hilarious in the spectacularly funny scene in the principal’s office as she describes how to hold a nude lineup of boys to identify the … uh, thing … she grabbed in the shower. She also did the two “Porky’s” sequels and died young(ish) in 2001 of heart failure at 58. Parsons was also in Clint Eastwood’s “Sudden Impact.”

Here’s a quick rundown of the guys:

  • Mark Herrier plays “Billy McCarty” and is the oftentimes organizer of the group. He does a solid job but doesn’t make it outstanding (but giving a great acting performance is difficult in a film of so gross-out, visual scenes) and has also been in “Tank” with James Garner.
  • Wyatt Knight plays “Tommy Turner” and is object of Parsons’ unrequited wrath (maybe a little hidden passion, too?). Knight is what passes for a ladies’ man (he’s the only one who’s really been amorous with Hunter). Knight was also in the two “Porky’s” sequels and the rest of his career was spent in television (save for one film in a bit part prior to “Porky’s”). Tragically, he took his own life in 2011 at 56.
  • A promotional photograph from the movie “Porky’s.”

    Tony Ganios plays “Anthony ‘Meat’ Tuperello” and he is the most manly of the group. Because of his size, he stands out from the crowd here both as a character and an actor but he is actually better with a larger role in the first sequel. Ganios was also a brawny guy in “The Wanderers” – a wonderful period gang movie (click here for my review) and got his butt kicked by Sean Connery playing a security guard in “Rising Sun.” Ganios has a thin resume of only 16 acting credits and last worked in 1993 on “Rising Sun,” but did resurface later for a voice-over (check out the cast notes at the bottom of this review). Ganios died at 64 of of a heart attack in 2024.

  • A promotional photograph from the movie “Porky’s.”

    Scott Colomby does his best as the diverse member of the gang (he plays Jewish “Brian Schwartz”). Colomby does a bit more than the next two actors and his character has a bit more chance for development than Ganios’ “Meat.” You’ll most likely remember Colomby better from his work in the classic golf comedy “Caddyshack.”

  • Roger Wilson played “Mickey Jarvis” and is another example of doing a good, but not remarkable job. Wilson was also in “Blow Out.”
  • It’s ditto like Wilson for Cyril O’Reilly as “Tim Cavenaugh.” His character, too, had a chance because of a little complexity (he’s brutalized by his ex-con father; it’s an odd backstory to appear in such a comedy). O’Reilly was also in another comedy classic: “Airplane!”

Finally …

  • A promotional photograph from the movie “Porky’s.”

    Married in real life actors Susan Clark and former football great Alex Karras both have roles here: Clark as the hooker called “Cherry Forever” and Karras as “Sheriff Wallace” (“Porky’s” brother). They did work together in other films but do not appear in any of the same scenes here. Clark, a native of Canada, hasn’t worked on TV or the big screen since 2000 and Karras died of kidney failure at 77 in 2012.

  • A promotional photograph from the movie “Porky’s.”

    As to the title character, Chuck Mitchell plays “ ‘Porky’ Wallace” of fictional Wallacetown, Fla. Mitchell, who died in 1992 at the age of 64 of liver cirrhosis, is as big a character as his name and does a nice job of bringing an edge of evil cruelty to the film. Mitchell was also in “Better Off Dead …

Wow. There’s a lot more to cover, but I just don’t have the time. The PE coaches are funny, as is the principal (although his role expands exponentially in the first sequel). For the record, the sequels are: “Porky’s II: The Next Day” and “Porky’s Revenge.” Clark directed the first sequel, but chose not to direct the third film.

Clark had wanted to make “A Christmas Story” but couldn’t get support from his studio. After the success of “Porky’s,” the studio wanted Clark to direct a sequel, but he’d do it only if he got to make “A Christmas Story.” As you know, both movies got made!

As I already wrote, “Porky’s” was the fifth ranked film of the year with $105.4 million, according to Wiki (Box Office Mojo put it sixth with the same total ticket sales). To critics’ chagrin, “Porky’s” outperformed such acclaimed films as “The Verdict” (11th with $53.9 million – nominated for five Oscars); the insipid crapfest called “Sophie’s Choice” (24th with $30 million – and one Oscar); and even the absolutely terrific based-on-a-true-story “Missing” from Costa-Gavras (56th with $14 million – also with one Oscar). The No. 1 film of the year was “E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial” with $359.1 million and the splendid comedy “Tootsie” with Dustin Hoffman at No. 2 with $177.2 million. Films from 1982 that I’ve reviewed are:

Assorted cast and film notes (via IMDb.com):

  • Monahan’s nickname is “Joe Golf;” Knight’s birth name was Wyatt Clarke Tippie; Hunter’s full birth name is Katherine Susan Hunter; and Clark’s birth name is Susan Nora Goulding.
  • It has been reported that Howard Stern wanted to do a reboot of the film, but he didn’t find financial backing (and Bob Clark supported the idea until his death at 67 in 2007 in a car crash).
  • Directly from IMDb.com: “Although retired from acting since 1993, in 2000 Tony (Ganios) and Police Academy veteran Leslie Easterbrook supplied voices for the low budget YouTube animated series “Bad Vlad” under the pseudonyms Nick Fury and Honour Lawrence in what he described as one of the most purely fun performances of his career.”
  • Moviegoers in Ireland have exquisite taste. Directly from com: “This is the first movie to gross over £1 million at the Irish box office, despite having being banned initially and only released after appeal.“
  • Finally directly from IMDb.com: “(Hunter) Currently resides in Moab, Utah, where she runs the architectural company “OK OK OK Productions.” Kaki also teaches white water rafting, oversees local theater productions, and is an active member of the community. [June 2002]”

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